Ivan Orlov's Personal Site

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quiet ward
serpion space
19/16 butyrskaya
rodchenko school

1. essay number (...)

books and zines
6. early works — prt.1
5. metro
4. and some of us no longer care
3. pigs farm
2. quiet ward
1. a man and the sea

telegram channel

I accept payment for viewing and reading cryptocurrencies with cups of coffee

P183 against the wall of peace at Arbat

[The Fifth Post] [June Fourth, 2013] [Life is Good]

I almost died again today when I woke up, because of the drooling from my meds.

It's never been like this — it feels like I should already be in the other world, where everyone is even more kind and fun.

Living is fun. Nespresso coffee in the morning, strange news in my head. I seem to be young and rich. I sit and rejoice like an idiot.

I guess I'm a domestic agent, who has the USSR alive, but communism is no more, it's all feminism.

Stork “Nezaputina” Hoyaist (should have studied at Oxford)

What to do with the header of the site? Grisha is asleep or busy in his Israel. Designers?

[Fourth post] [Ninth of May, 2023] [Push-ups are a bummer][Talking About Albums][Talking about albums][An Act of Vandalism][My Site is Visited by Three Cripples][Advanced Autism Text]

💪🏻 I can't do push-ups. Only leaving home for cigarettes and food. Flies will have to wait: “From the first ingestion, the flies 🍄 go straight to the core of the personality” — do I need flies in the core, or would I rather eat tomatoes? 🛰

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…and study at Oxfaird 🧑🏼‍🎓

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Sent Marshani 100 photos for the selection of the second part of Early Works 2005-2010 (here's the first one). Sanya seems to be out of depression and is going to publish a sequel in May. And then another one, what if?

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I bought thirteen hundred picture albums on Ozone (written on the blog earlier) — about a year ago probably — five in beige and seven in flattened green. Then I picked out and printed 99 cards for the first part for 2005—2008 and 99 cards for the second part for 2009—2010.

The covers without all the frills, florals and crazy, smiling, women in wedding uniforms - I chose from about 300 with frills, florals and other embellishments. And then… Photos engraved on the cover. I had to play around with it.

The printing was very amateurish, if not horrible. The first 99 cards had blanks where the black and white were, and the ink was in different shades of “color” even though they were supposed to be black and white. The second 99 cards printed better, but for some reason all of them were darkened. Strange, in general.

The name of the company is, would you believe it — Fotoproekt. Cheap and not know what, how and why — concerning printing. True, it's not the first time I've gone to them.

Sorry, of course, PHOTOPROJECT, but this is not the way to print. Probably better to have a home photo printer.

But I ordered three fridge magnets made with my cards from their shop. The magnets turned out great.

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About the albums. I collected the first five while I was in a mental hospital 👕. I don't know if I should rebuild them. The second five I assembled at home. It seems to be good, but only one album of the five is assembled and it lacks three cards. And only the covers of the second part are done.

Here's the second part made by myself and the Marshani zine prt.1 on the side.

🎞︎ 99 pictures in each and a choice of two cover pages — all written on one 🇷🇺 in Russian and on the second 🇯🇲 in English.

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When I made these albums, I had no particular purpose. I made the first five (2005—2008) to keep on the shelf as an excuse for my laziness and general despondency. The second five (2009—2010) were meant to be the second part, a continuation of the first one.

Then I started thinking, if I sell these albums, five parts of the first and five of the second, at what price? Essentially the albums have 99 prints in one and 99 in the second. What is the value of such albums in this mysterious art world - who the hell knows. 🌜︎

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Sandro sent this video. His friend Paramon took my METRO book, ripped out the centerfold, framed it and hung it in his kitchen on the wall. 🖼︎


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Sandro said it was an act of vandalism. And it makes me happy if you can cut a picture out of a book and stick it in a frame and on the wall. Just reading or looking at books is boring. But it's all vandalism, no argument.

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Now ivanorlov.ru has 3-7 visitors a day. I assume some cripples 💉 come in, steal all the pictures and leave. Three cripples. One employee or some fuckin' handler, Agent Smith, whatever. And three people I know, who I asked to stop by and check out how I'm doing. And I'm sure there's someone coming in that Yandex.Metric and Google.Analytics can't see.

To keep you, the reader-viewer, somehow (everyone is doing that now), I'll tell you that the next post will be the videos from those two albums described above.

They will probably be priced from 7000 ₽, and if they're taken, then the price will grow unthinkable. I'll think about it. I'll finish them and leave them there.

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Today is the ninth of May. My father said if he had been born a year later, he would have been sent to war and he would have died. He said all the good people died in WWII. If I'd been born a year earlier, I'd have been an octobrist. Grandpa, how are you? How's Grandma? Today is your day, this is your victory.

🦉 Stork-sovayist and friend of Stork 🤖 robot-sabarr 🤖 Who is yo, anyway?

Yeah, I don't understand shit anyway. Come by more often. I understand that right now posts don't read more than one paragraph, and these photo stories don't interest many people. Still, come on in.

Bonus Ivanjevic's square from different angles: ❏ ❐ ❑ ❒

It's all the penguin's fault! 🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

Loan offers are being sent. I understand if it were like this, they give me 15,000 ₽ and I owe 10,000 ₽ back. It's goodness in its purest form. Anyway, my sister told me that Russian banks are trying to cheat you, and foreign ones are going along with everything.

[Third Post] [First of May, 2023] [Promoting Bear]

Since there are two posts, there should be a third one sooner or later — it's in the process of being written right here, right now.

This navigation menu on the left, it's almost done, today or tomorrow.

I translated almost the entire site into English using DeepL, making edits where I thought they were needed.

I removed the link to Marie Bolgova's film from access, but added some videos of me browsing through my books and zines. You can hear my breathing and the birds singing in the video.

Mariam, 2019. advertises my telegram channel

And the lyrics, there are already a lot of them, half a kilo for sure. I would burn them, but they are in electronic form. And I feel sorry to burn the negatives.

Four words “I” in a few sentences is nothing…

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To make this post at least somewhat useful, I would like to say that not the whole world has turned against Russia. There are some people who are sympathetic. TunnelBear VPN, which gives Russian citizens 10 GB of free traffic per month. It's very easy to use. It can be turned on or off with the push of a button. And no speed limits. Only the limit of 10 GB.

Vano has a kimono.

And a real katana has to be in the ground for 30 years. So that's it.

[Second Post] [Sixteenth of April, 2023]
[“I want to try fly agarics!”]

I spent three weeks in Korsakov's hospital.

I took a little bit of pictures. I present to my and your attention a selection of 24 photos. I took them with my digital Fuji and did a “dirty” black and white.

I'm thinking of re-releasing The Quiet Ward, and re-collecting money for it on planeta.ru. But I can't manage to write a promo-text for the project on Planet. And it is necessary either to supplement the layout, or to re-design everything.

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Sasha Marchani published the first part of Early Works 2005-2010 and promises to do a sequel in May.

I can't put together my 5+5 albums with the same Early Works. The usual albums are 100x15 cm, 99 photos and 2 cover pages — in Russian and English for the first part, and the same number for the second part. 2005—2008 and 2009—2010.

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Actually, there's a lot to do, and instead of doing stuff, I'm sleeping, working, eating, watching shows on my Apple TV.

For two years I rented out a big room in my two-bedroom in Opalikha to different people, and now I live alone and do not want to let anyone in. I get less money, but I live alone and have more freedom.

Now the apartment is a “hell of a mess”. I'm waiting for a woman to come and clean it up. Take out the trash, fold clothes, wash dishes, etc.

I plan to get out of the house more often for walks and photo shoots in the woods, and to do a hundred push-ups a day in multiple sets.

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I want to try fly agarics in pills.

And I remind you, I was supposed to be Asya and study at Oxford.

From the heart, Orlov, “robot-sabarr”

[First Post] [Second of February, 2023] [“Ah, how cool I am!”]

It's about time for a new post on a new platform.

The site is written by pressing the fingertips on the letters. The letters are on the buttons. The buttons all together are the keyboard. And then there are millions of questions.

First there was the first LiveJournal, 2001, then the second — 2003, if I'm not mistaken, then the third LiveJournal: from 2004 to 2012. Somewhere in 2012, everyone got together and dumped on Facebook. And the LiveJournal died — I never understood why or why.

Facebook was starting to piss me off. Secondly — I always wanted to run my own website. There were a few unsuccessful attempts, but everything stalled there.

Now it's all good. Gone is the fear of writing the first post or maybe there's a reason why I wrote the code for this site — with my own hands — a year maybe ago.

I don't do promotion. I drop links to friends and buddies, just to get feedback.

There are even those who say “I'm the best”. “Pride and best student at the Rodchenko School”, for example.

Hopefully, over time, there will be some interactivity here. Who knows? Right now there are 1-5 people a day visiting the site, of which one is me.

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What's in it?

First, the Quiet Ward, my calling card, as it happens.

Fourth, a section with nude pictures of different girls. All very cute. Film, and digital too.

There is, thirdly, an educational project at the Rodchenko School, “Asphalt.” I made, like, 100 or 300 cards of what was under my feet. All a discolored figure.

Second, a beautiful photo story about Tamara Dmitrievna, the postmistress. She lives in a village, already very old, and walks 15 km, delivering mail. On the same page is a film by Kristina Sholokhova, my cards, and a report from the exhibition.

(from commercial portfolio)

I spent four years of my life studying at the Rodchenko School of Photography. At the link “Rodchenko” I collected documentary photos taken during my studies. And a couple of reports from trips abroad, with texts.


A “books and zines” section that needs to be finished and redone.

An incomplete archive of old blogs, entries from which are moved here for some reason.

CV. The official work-biography. Next to the link to my contacts. Not VKontakte, but contacts.

And links. Links to some things I'm involved in one way or another.

If you don't believe me, then I confirm here by putting my hand to my balls (the left should hang below the right), heart and lightly slapping myself on the neck, that with very few exceptions, all the texts and photos on this site are my doing. Believe it or not.

Also, I've already uploaded three of the 10 texts I've written in the last couple of years, but there's no direct link to them on the site. I'm wondering if I should post them or not. There's something new there.

If you want to be supportive in any way… I'm very happy to get any feedback, enthusiastic or not so enthusiastic, criticism if it's true. You can "buy me a cup of coffee" - there's a blue button in the lower right corner. No one has pressed it yet. I don't even know if the button functions or not.

Lately I've been doing something on the site every day or every other day.

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I made the first post in the web log of this site. I get confused from time to time, and it's possible that the next post will be in six months, maybe a week.

By visiting this site occasionally, you, the reader and viewer, show me respect, for which I am very grateful, though I may not even give a look.

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No, there isn't and won't be any bullshit on this site. What can I add? I'll try to update more often.

Yours, ours and a little bit of my own, Orlov Ivan Yurievich

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